"Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances. Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear." (Proverbs 25:11-12)
As we continue our look at the tongue and our speech as it is considered in the Book of Proverbs, we look at the fourth aspect that is as just as important as all the issues we have already looked at - the issue of timing. After all, what difference does it make if you exercise self control and watch what you say, and how you say it, but say things at the wrong time?
Bad Timing
Imagine you pay your doctor a visit after exhibiting some worrying pain and symptoms in your stomach. He listens to your symptoms, sympathises with your aches and pains, does some basic tests in his rooms, and then sits down behind his desk and proceeds to give you his prognosis. What follows is the worst possible news you could ever receive, as he lovingly, and inoffensively says, "I am sorry sir, I am afraid you have cancer of the bowel."
You break down in front of him. After you compose yourself a little you ask him how bad it is and what you need to do. He tells you that there is no hope and that you have only a matter of months to live. However, he would like to send you for some blood tests to see whether or not the cancer has affected anything else in your body. You leave his rooms completely destroyed. You do not know how you are going to tell your loved ones, and start to make plans in your mind on how to tie up your estate.
You go for your blood tests and a week later the results come back confirming the cancer. But the news is not what you first heard from the doctor, for when you visit him a few days later he tells you that he was right about you having cancer, but he was wrong about the severity of it. He says that through some basic treatments you should be able to beat the cancer and that you could still be able to live to a ripe old age.
Well-Timed Wisdom
This simple illustration gives you a hint at how bad timing can destroy. The same is true with our words of wisdom. Though we may have the basic facts and desire to be honest with a person about something, we need to think about our timing. Knowing the right time that someone is ready to hear your wise, well-thought out, loving words, is a sign of godly wisdom. Telling someone what they need to hear when they are not ready to hear it could potentially destroy them.
Another aspect to consider alongside timing is setting. After all, a dinner party is not the right setting for your doctor to tell you that you have cancer. The setting that you use to share you message is of equal importance.
Consider All the Factors
A truly wise person will consider all of the factors regarding their speech: wording, non-verbal communication, tone, truthfulness, love, timing and setting. Any of these factors can affect the message.
Though this may seem obvious in certain situations, like inviting your family to your wedding via a proper invite or at a special dinner as opposed to a funeral, there are many times when a badly chosen time and setting can negate your message.
We need to exercise consideration for what other people are going through before we share our message.
So next time you have something important to say to someone, whether it be bad news, a correction, a sermon, or simply words of love, think about whether or not it is the right time and/or setting to say it. After all, when you put yourself in their shoes, would you not prefer that they told you at the right time and in the right place?
Just a Thought!
© 2012
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